There are times in life where circumstances change the way we see things. At that moment, priorities and perspectives change. For Lindsey and I, our perspective of the future has focused on us going to Guyana to be missionaries for Wycliffe Bible Translators, working among the Carib people. This has been pretty much the catalyst for everything we've done over the past 2 years. That is one reason why being able to stand in Guyana, "talking" to the Carib people was so LIFE CHANGING. Not because it was the fulfillment of the call of God but because it was there that God showed up.
A very simple principle of Christianity is, God and sin cannot be in the same place. God is Holy and we are sinful. Therefore we are separated. It is through the death of Holy Jesus, that allows His Holy blood to wash our sinful souls clean, thereby giving us the ability to have a relationship with Him.
I will confess that on our trip to Guyana, when God showed up, I learned that I had removed God from the throne of my life and it was I that was in the driver’s seat. My whole life was about Me serving god. It was about what I was going to do for god and how I was going to Guyana to be a Missionary. god was a footnote in My story.
But the incredible, amazing, awesome LORD that we served showed us in Guyana, and revealed to me just how small I am and just how God He is. It was there in the Jungle that Lindsey and I discovered that, we cannot do this! The task of reaching the Carib is way to big! The house needs way to much work! The language is way to hard! The culture is way to different! The temperature is way too hot! We simply do not have the ability to do this. We were cast down off our comfortable thrones as controllers of our lives. Honestly we began to question God, "Are You sure this is what You are calling us to?" "Maybe we heard wrong and You really wants us to go to a place with electricity and AC!"
It was at that point that God showed up. God in all His goodness, peace, power, joy, grace, wisdom, truth, and love! He revealed to us just how selfish we are. It pains me to confess this to you but honestly there was a point where I felt God asking me the question, "If there was a way out, would you take it?" I never could answer that question, because I knew my flesh was crying out go home but I knew that wasn't God's will. It's a scary thing when you realize, "I'm not good enough to be God."
God is still working on us but over the past 2 weeks, God has been teaching us to "Be still and know that I am God." Ps. 46:10 I am not God! I cannot control my future! The mission field is NOT about me doing anything! It is about God Almighty, working in hearts and changing lives. Lindsey and I are simply vessels to be used by the Master. We are to stop striving and know that He is God! He does the work, He brings the harvest! He is the Answer, not me! When God shows up, we see just how sinful and inept we are. This is a crazy, scary place but it is there that God teaches us how to die to self. Once self is removed, His Holy Spirit can infiltrate our heart and lives. That is where Life More Abundant begins!
The Carib people need God, not a self-righteous sinner. It is an honor for Lindsey and I to be vessels used by Him to bring about the Gospel to the Carib people! His call for us to go to Guyana is stronger and clearer now than ever before but now we see that we are simple servants of a Mighty God not the other way around. May God be lifted up and may He draw all people unto Himself! May our lives never be the same!
servants of the Most High King,
jason & lindsey